the shift from being productive to being needed is jarring, here’s why.
I, like many women, built my identity around achievement, competence and visible output before I had kids - and that shift to motherhood felt less like a smooth glide and more like a knee-jerk gear-grind.
When I was going through that, I wished someone had given the words to, or even handed me the language to be able to understand what was happening. Being a mother is my greatest and most rewarding gift, but it’s got layers, right?
Powerful women need powerful guides
I’ve realised over the years that to do that kind of work - the kind that doesn’t just support a birth, but transforms a whole becoming - I can’t just read a book and rock up on the day.
I have to embody the investment that people make in me.
The patriarchy wants you to feel bad about this (don’t let it win)
Suddenly, anything that felt nourishing, expansive, or supportive for me… became harder to justify.
My needs started slipping beneath the surface. And the message was loud and clear. You come second now.
Who Were You Before You Had Children?
What’s actually radical is that we’ve been conditioned to believe birth belongs in a hospital, strapped to a machine, under fluorescent lights, and surrounded by people who might not even know your name. So, let’s bust some myths.
Here's What I've Learnt This Week
Now let me tell you something, there’s something about buying a car - or trying to return one - that reveals exactly how women are expected to behave.
Be agreeable. Don’t question the expert. Don’t push too hard. Don’t be difficult. And whatever you do, don’t raise your voice.