The patriarchy wants you to feel bad about this (don’t let it win)

Investing in yourself is not a luxury – it’s rebellion.

Before I had children, I didn’t think I struggled with this.

I’d always invested in myself. I’d go after the opportunity, buy the course, book the massage, back myself without hesitation. I didn’t second-guess it - I saw it as growth. Alignment. Power.

But somewhere in pregnancy, that started to shift.

Not dramatically. Quietly.

The first time I scrolled past something I would’ve usually said yes to - a class, a treatment, a course - I felt the flicker of desire. And then… the guilt.

“That money should probably go towards the baby…”

“I should be sensible now.”

“Is this really necessary?”

Suddenly, anything that felt nourishing, expansive, or supportive for me… became harder to justify.

My needs started slipping beneath the surface. And the message was loud and clear:

You come second now.

Then came parenting. Then came building a business from scratch while raising babies.

And even as I entered a world where self-development and coaching were everywhere, the guilt didn’t vanish. It just shape-shifted:

“Should I really be spending this on myself?”

“How can I spend that when I’m not earning x yet?”

I felt selfish for wanting to be supported. Indulgent for seeking ease.

Like my value was tied to how little I asked for, how well I managed without help.

And here’s what I’ve realised after years of unpicking it:

This isn’t personal. It’s systemic.

It’s how the patriarchy keeps us quiet.

It trains us to see our growth as excessive, our rest as lazy, our wellbeing as optional.

And it shows up most powerfully in pregnancy and parenting.

You're told to buy the cot, the car seat, the 101 baby gadgets - anything that fuels large corporations lining the pockets of - let’s face it - often executive boards full of old, white men called Simon.

But when it comes to your own nervous system, your own healing, your own experience? You're taught to feel guilty for even considering it.

Even the most well-meaning people will question your choices:

“Isn’t that a bit much?”

“Don’t you already have everything you need?”

“Do you really need to spend that?”

And slowly, you stop asking yourself what you want - and start performing what you think you should be.

Here’s what I know now:

Investing in yourself isn’t a luxury. It’s rebellion.

When you choose to be deeply supported – when you choose to feel calm, clear, grounded, informed – that is not frivolous.

That is not taking something away from your baby.

That is showing them what it looks like to be a well-resourced woman.

It is teaching them that rest is power. That support is strength. That motherhood doesn’t have to mean martyrdom.

It ripples out - into your birth, your parenting, your relationships.

It changes what gets passed down.

Why I built A Journey Ahead the way I did

Because I got tired of watching brilliant, intuitive, loving women shrink the moment they became mothers.

I created this business - not just as a doula, but as a guide, coach, and voice of truth - to be an antidote to the shame.

To offer a new standard of care.

To remind you that you matter, too.

That your birth experience is worth preparing for.

That your nervous system deserves care.

That support isn’t a backup plan, it’s the foundation.

From my retreat experiences to my face to face support, to the My Pocket Doula App®, everything I create is rooted in one belief:

When women feel held, they make better decisions.

They trust themselves more deeply.

They parent with less guilt, more clarity, more presence.

And they stop waiting for permission.

So no, it’s not self-indulgent to invest in yourself.

It’s not “extra” to feel well-prepared.

It’s not selfish to want to be deeply, beautifully supported.

It’s powerful.

It’s necessary.

And it’s time.

If this stirred something in you - share it. Forward it to a friend who’s still stuck in the guilt spiral. Or just let it land and ask yourself what you need right now.

I’m so glad you’re here.