I Do a Happy Dance When People Don’t Work With Me

Because this work isn’t about filling my diary.

It’s about connection.

There’s a moment that happens in every conversation with a potential client. We’ve spoken, we’ve felt each other out, they’ve shared their story, I’ve explained how I work. And then there’s a pause. A decision. From both sides.

Sometimes that decision is yes – and we’re off on a journey together.

And sometimes, it’s no.

And here’s the thing: when it’s no, I do a happy dance.

That might sound strange. Surely, as a business owner, I should feel disappointed? Shouldn’t I want to convert every lead into a client? Shouldn’t I be chasing the yes?

But I don’t see it that way. Because this work isn’t about filling my diary. It’s about connection. Deep, soul-level connection. And when someone says no, what I actually hear is: I listened to my intuition. I trusted myself enough to know what feels right for me.

And that is always worth celebrating.

I’ve seen too many women override their instincts because they don’t want to let someone down, because they feel guilty, because they’ve been conditioned to say yes when every fibre of their being is whispering no. So when a woman tells me she’s not going to book me, I cheer for her. She’s chosen herself. She’s listened to her gut. She’s found something – or someone – that feels more aligned. That’s powerful.

I remember one family who met with me years ago.

They were warm, open, and I liked them instantly. But something in our conversation told me we weren’t quite the right fit. I could see it in the way she held back, how the conversation geared towards minimising myself and my support, when she expressed what she wanted.

Later, she emailed me to say thank you, but they’d decided to go with someone else. And honestly, I felt relief. Not because I didn’t want to support them, but because they had chosen the person they did want. And that is the beginning of trust – listening to yourself. I didn’t want to have to be a smaller version of myself to fit her story, and would have sent a similar message because I too, got the quiet ‘not this time’.

And when the fit is right? That’s where the magic happens.

The relationships I build with my clients are never transactional. They go deep.

Families invite me into their most vulnerable moments, and what’s forged in that kind of intimacy doesn’t just disappear after the baby arrives or the coaching container ends. More often than not, my “clients” become my friends – woven into my life in ways I couldn’t have predicted. That’s the beauty of aligned connection. Women who end up sitting round a table of powerful women at my birthday meals. Voicenotes and coffee fuelled walks years after the moments of ‘work’.

Over the years, I’ve come to trust that the right people will always find their way to me, just as I will always find my way to them. It’s not about hustle or persuasion. It’s about resonance. About the quiet pull that happens when someone reads a sentence I’ve written or hears me speak, and thinks: Yes. That’s my person.

That’s why I celebrate the no’s.

Because they’re part of the same process. Every no clears space for the right yes. Every no is a woman choosing herself. Every no affirms my deep belief that this work isn’t about numbers – it’s about trust, care, and alignment.

And we need more of that. More women trusting their gut. More families listening to their inner knowing instead of outsourcing every decision. More people recognising that “not this” is just as sacred as “yes, this.”

So yes, when someone tells me they’re not going to work with me, I smile. I move my body. I thank them for listening to themselves. Because that’s the very thing I want for every woman I support – whether we work together or not.

And that’s why the happy dance will always stay.

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