Is Hustle Mode Ruining Your Parenting Experience?

What happens when the good girl becomes the good mum… and burns out anyway?

For as long as I can remember, my productivity has been rewarded.

The dynamic of our family life meant that, as a teenager, my days were already full of responsibility – changing nappies, helping with bedtimes, and generally being as self-sufficient as possible. I also had an evening and weekend job, earning little bits of money to fund my social life, stealthy WKD bottles and the never-ending need for more phone credit.

I learned early on that being independent and needing less from others made life easier – for everyone else. And it got praised. I was a good girl. So grown up. So helpful.

And to be honest, I wore that badge with pride.

The fire that got things done

The amazing thing these experiences gave me? Drive.

I saw – tangibly – that I could change my circumstances. That the harder I worked, the better things got. That I didn’t have to wait for someone to rescue me – I could take the reins.

In the corporate world, this mindset was gold dust.

Give me a set of objectives? I’ll smash them. Need a project managing? Consider it done. Want someone to race up the promotion ladder? I’ll leap up the rungs.

But then I became a mother. And then I started my own business. And that same drive – the one that made me unstoppable before – began to feel like an anchor.

The truth about motherhood (that hustle culture doesn’t tell you)

If there’s one thing this mindset gifts you in motherhood… it’s a deep sense of guilt and shame when you need help.

Which, let’s face it, is inevitable. We’re not meant to raise babies alone. But in this modern, fragmented world – with overstretched healthcare systems and individualistic values – we do. And it’s exhausting.

Ask for breastfeeding support? Shouldn’t I be able to figure this out myself?

Need help with childcare while juggling work? Other people manage – why can’t I?

The narrative runs deep. And the burnout is real.

Growing a business (and growing up, again)

Building Journey Ahead – my birth and coaching business – has been one of the biggest growth edges of my life. Not just professionally, but personally. Add into that creating an App and growing that too, why not add another plate?

With both me and my husband working, we had to get comfortable asking for support. Friends. Family. The village that often feels invisible until you need it.

It was uncomfortable at first. It still is sometimes. There’s a voice in my head that whispers: You’re asking too much. Even when I know – deep down – I’d drop everything to help those same people in return.

When hustle becomes harmful

When I began my doula work, I fell head-first into hustle culture. It spoke my language.

Work hard. Keep going. Don’t stop. And everything you want will arrive.

Except doula work isn’t a project. It’s not a task you can tick off. It’s an energetic commitment. For months, you’re holding space, absorbing emotion, showing up deeply and intuitively.

By the time the birth arrives, the work is already well underway. Not just physically, but emotionally. Spiritually. It’s sacred. And it asks something different of you. Hustle doesn’t help here. It drains. It disconnects. It masks.

Rewriting the story

Doing therapy last year was a huge turning point. Working with a female business coach? Even more so.

It helped me unpick the narrative that had been quietly running the show: that needing others makes me weak. That rest is a risk. That productivity equals worth.

Bit by bit, I started to rewrite it.

I gave myself permission to soften. To slow down. To see rest as not just necessary, but strategic. And, to my surprise, things kept working – even when I wasn’t glued to my laptop.

I started asking for help. And feeling deep gratitude for the people who showed up. Who wanted me to thrive. Not for what I could do – but for who I was. So now I’m asking you…

What’s your story?

Do you carry that same hyper-productive mindset, too?

Do you ever find yourself ticking boxes and meeting expectations – but wondering what it’s all costing you?

Maybe it’s a slow morning with your baby, that got sacrificed to an overflowing inbox. Maybe it’s connection with your partner, blurred by exhaustion and the glow of another scroll. Maybe it’s your sense of self, buried beneath the endless pressure to perform.

I’m not saying drive is a bad thing. Mine’s taken me far.

But unchecked, it can become a cage. So I am so grateful to have this space to share these moments of clarity with you. This one being about that moment of realisation – the one that says: it doesn’t have to be this way.

🎧 Listen to my secret podcast for new and interesting perspectives.

Then meet your new companion: the My Pocket Doula App® – here to support you with evidence-based, heart-centred guidance from conception to postpartum and beyond.